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I would like to make a comment on my last entry. I’m tempted to take it out because I found out this week that there are people checking out my Blog that haven’t really had close contact with me in years. It made that person feel uncomfortable. It made her feel like she wasn’t supposed to be here.

You are supposed to be here. If you are reading this, you are supposed to be here. I’m struggling through this issue and I think that far too often we duck into a little hole and hide to lick our wounds. Well, I want help with my wounds. I want people to see that you can go through this and experience peace in the midst of trial.

I’m still working out the details in my mind and I still have to talk to Teegan again to find out what this all means for us. It is complicated in such a way that I can’t share everything without breaking trust. This much can been said: The Lord has been faithful this week in leading me, guiding me and comforting me. I have been in prayer and have really sensed the joy of the Lord. I’m still nervous and tense and not sleeping like I usually do but all of that will return soon. Teegan and I are still friends and that was one of the comforts that brought me through this week.

God Bless.

Hey there world. I’m airing out my laundry. Teegan and I broke up yesterday and it sucks. It meets every rational, logical reason that it needs to qualify for a good idea but it sucks. I far more of an emotional exibitionist than I am a emotional recluse. Right now I want to recluse but it won’t help me or anybody. Teegan broke up with me because she is not ready to go where I’m willing to go (although my own readiness comes into question at this point).

So in the midst of this, I try to make sense of emotions that don’t need to be sensable. I rationalize thoughts that aren’t rational.

Today I do need prayer. I need it tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. I feel whipped, beaten but I don’t want to become the enemy’s dessert.

Peace be with you and me.

It is Friday and I’ll be doing lunch with Chris. I’m hoping for something light because I really haven’t done anything of significance today. I read a few pages for my class next week but I had Survivor to catch up on, an unexpected call and just about anything is more fun then sitting in front of another book about Research Design (although this one is interesting, I’m fearing that it has little to do with anything that I’ll be doing in terms of Research)
To be honest I’ve been scared away from the Research thing because Theology would have you know English, French, German, Greek, Latin and Hebrew. As it stands I’m ok at English, my French is rusted out, my German consists of a few swears and insults and questions about Youth Hostels, my Greek is elementary, Latin? and Hebrew is confined to side notes from Charasmatic preachers and carry overs from Arabic. It is a daunting thing to think about.

Peace to you and yours this Friday (ps I may not be proud of the swears but lets face facts. . . as a teenager, that is really what you were interested in finding out first).

I have had to examine pride today. . . namely my own. I have a tendency to want things to go my way and for everyone to view me in a certain way. I have a distinct feeling that is sin. It is so easy for pride to sneak up and it does. You just let yourself get worked up and expect certain things from other people. The problem is when you don’t get what is expected. When your little bubble bursts (namely mine) and your left feeling naked. That’s how I feel today. I only came to this realization when I started to pray for other people to change and then realized that maybe I was the one that needed to change.
That’s my story (without a real plot) for today.

I’m hitting a morning where things are a little confusing. I have referred two friends to my work place and have had one of them really get the shaft shift. He was told that he would be getting full time and he didn’t. He was given shifts that will conflict with his other job. This is extra lame because I was the one that recommended both of them to the job. Bah! I will this stuff wasn’t so stinky complicated. On top of all of that, the two friends are room mates.

Well, you can all pray for the Wadester if you would like.