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Well, I’m back and I’m gone. I’m headed out on the C&C leadership for this weekend and I’m thinking that it is going to rock. I am so tired but hopefully they’ll let this old man go to bed early.

I had a revolutionary time out at Briercrest this week. We were looking at Philosophy of Ministry and out of that came a brief look at our personal core values. It was a far more impactful thing then it ever should have been. But the events of my life have reached a confluence and I’m far more open to change right now than I’ve been in a while.

The revolution had to do with looking at what I believe and what I practice. We were learning that what you believe should lead you into what you practice and I’ve been evaluating that every since Teegan and I stopped dating. I’ve had to realize that my life has not matched up with my view of God.

Now this happens to all of us on one level or another (i.e., “I do what I do not want to do and what I want to do I do not do”). This is a little different though because I have been thinking that it doesn’t matter. I have been dilluding myself to a certain degree into thinking that I don’t really have to evaluate my life. . . this week gave me permission to do so.

I have valued freedom above all else and I don’t think freedom is my highest value. I value people far more than freedom. I value love more than freedom. I value my relationship with God more than freedom. I guess that I’m beginning to realize that I mistook freedom for Grace. Grace I value more than most things but this misunderstanding of Grace has led me to a place that I never wanted to go.

I’m so thankful for Grace that God would pour out His love in forgiveness when I just haven’t taken the time to consider Him. He is amazing beyond words. I also think that he must have a great sense of humor if He keeps trying to use me even when I do so much that contradicts what it is that He has taught me.

I want to be a person that is honest. . . yesterday was a meloncholy day. I was really down and I hadn’t been that down in years. I guess that the reality of not dating Teegan any more is setting in. Being friends is great but I just realize that the closeness and the hopes and dreams just can’t be anymore. That is really a tough thing to face. I’m taking the day to pray and to seek the joy of the Lord in the midst of a difficult time.

Yes, in an answer to Chris, we will need to record the Dana/Jason song and the Kevin/Luanne song. These should top out at about 14th on the local charts (I have to say that because I don’t want to beat out Travis in his efforts to rule the Saskatoon scene). . . Check him out.

Although you can check out the Wedding singers out as well.

Ooops I did it again. . .

I was spelling Crocheting wrong this whole time (as I was typing this I actually spelled it “croceting” so I don’t know if I’ll ever get it right). I found this out at a crochet group that I hang with on Tuesdays. I’m a man of the new millenium. I believe in equal opportunity for men and handwork. I was also crocheting and weaving a necklace for myself. I’m afraid that I’m a little selfish when it comes to doing stuff for other people at this point (Travis is incredible for that). . . who wants to give away their handwork firsts (this is a rhetoric question that shouldn’t be answered).

Have a super day ya’ll.

It’s Monday and it is so weird not being at C&C. I spent the evening with Darren trying to write the song for Kevin and Luanne’s wedding this weekend. It is going to be awesome. I think that it has a decent enough hook to it. Although it is no t-ravisty.

I also taught Kirk how to croche today and I also taught one of my boys at Carmel House how to croche. That’s been pretty good.

All round life is pretty good. It is still a little hard to get used to not dating Teegan but we are friends and I think that is the terminology that I’ll go with.

I’m a little scatter brained here before bed. Nighty night