Mark316.com: Single Christian Females

Single Christian Females

There was an article today in Today's Christian about single Christian females. There is aparently a huge problem with Christian women finding men and it is a statistically significant problem. According to the article there is some real reason to believe that it is more difficult for women than men in the dating department.

This comes off the tail end of a conversation that I had with Susana where many of her friends would like to be hooked up with either my brothers or my friends. Susana has been asked if I have Catholic friends too. The problem may be more pointed here where men are scarse in the churches and the country has a much higher percentage of women than men (because men move to America to support their families). Apparently the problem could be far broader than that.

I would also like to mention that men that do support their families by moving away from their wife and kids quite often end up taking a second wife in America. It is a huge problem here in El Salvador that has sweeping issues coming out of it including our gang issue.

Posted by Mark Trew on March 15, 2006 11:11 AM | Permalink

Comments

Wow - I had no idea it was an international issue. One guy suggested that I try Home Depot or Agribition (no luck there) and another thinks they might be in Ottawa (don't really feel like moving). I've also tried the online thing but without much success.
The article suggests that current church structure is not "friendly" to the single adult male. I'd argue that it's not all that friendly for the single adult female either - and for the same reasons the article discusses (why men avoid church).
I suppose prayer and persistence are the solutions I've got to run with. A magical (read instantaneous) solution might be nice though ;)

Posted by: Jenn | March 15, 2006 06:23 PM

Wow. I always thought that it was the other way around. Alot of christian guys I talk to wonder where the girls are. All the females I have went on dates with or talked to ended up not the way I thought they would be. Sure they go to church, but as they talked to me I realized that going to church and living the Way are two totally different things. I wonder if this is just a sign of the times. I look around church on sundays and see that younger females are dressing more and more provokatively. But anyways this is getting way off point. The point is I know alot of single christian guys (including me) out there that are finding it just as hard as the females to find someone.

Posted by: Jon | March 15, 2006 08:09 PM

I agree that church isn't user friendly in general. Anyone reading this blog regularly would know my opinions about that. Some churches are better than others but in the end, it is really difficult when women tend to remain faithful in all aspects of life moreso than their male counterparts.

Posted by: Markio | March 16, 2006 10:25 AM

Jon, I would say that I found it difficult to find a mate simply because I was really quite picky. I wouldn't say that it is easy for men to get hooked up but I would say that in comparison, it is much easier.

I think there are a few things working against Christian dating:

1. I kissed dating goodbye and the recoil of those kind of ideas. Christians are generally scared of dating because they believe that if they do it, they are on the fast track to marrying the person. (remember that this is somewhat of a prairie issue since it is very different in BC)

2. I believe that with increased options, we are less able to settle down to a decision. The more possibilties, the harder it is to decide. We have an ideal in mind and many of us don't even know what a good match would look like so miss out on good options along the way.

3. Somebody help me out with some more issues. . .

Posted by: Markio | March 16, 2006 10:34 AM

it's funny how Christian dating is totally different then people outside of the church. Non-Christians basically just ask and go out on dates. Whereas in Christian circles, i find anyway, that you end up with a certain group of people and meeting new people doesn't happen very often. People tend not to ask each other in the group out because they end up seeing each other as more brother/sister types and realize early on nothing could/should happen. So, in staying with the same group of people, it becomes increasingly difficult to have the dating option.

Posted by: tam | March 16, 2006 01:08 PM

I guess another one would be that we are looking for that perfect someone to marry and I don't think that is bad thing. I think if you settle for someone you don't really want just because you are sick of looking, you are going to regret it later. I see everyone getting married around me and I start to get worried that I am never going to get married. I start to think that maybe I shouldn't be so picky. But this isn't true. The one is out there and someday I will find her and if it is God's plan for me to remain single (I hope not), that's ok too.

Posted by: Jon | March 16, 2006 10:38 PM

Hey... I just found your blog by looking up that 'Christianity Today' article at talkdigger.com. I agree with you about the church not being very user friendly -- especially for guys.

But hey, check this out: they have the opposite problem in Japan... http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/3694230.stm

Posted by: Phil | March 30, 2006 11:35 PM

Handsom, respectful,fun, charming, and educated. 27yrs. Looking 4 good hearted angel in Las Vegas area. Must love jesus more than anything.

Posted by: George / Jorge | April 5, 2006 09:10 PM

I think that it is quite sad to hear about married men moving to the US to make a better life for his family in his native country - yet finding another wife in the US. However, I think that it would be hard to remain faithful to someone who is waiting for me in another country.

I believe that it is possible that Christian singles do not date each other casually (especially if they go to the same church!) because they take it too seriously. While some Christians may criticize the way nonbelievers date casually, I believe that taking dating too seriously takes the fun out of getting to know a variety of people. To me, dating is about meeting new people - initially. Once you and a person have mutual interest in moving forward, then you need to become more serious.

Forget about male shortage within the church. Because we have the internet (be very careful), friends, and community, etc - we could at least go out and meet new people and have fun.

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