Today is going to be the day
Hey there world,
I assume that much of the world isn't listening but to be honest, most of the time I don't really mind if no one is listening.
I asked Wade tonight, "So what do you think motivates me?"
He answered, "I think that you are still trying to sort that out."
There is wisdom in what it is that he is saying. There is more there then he said but it was a good starting place for some thinking. I actually think that God is the one that motivates me. I think about Him in everything thing I do. I think about Him in the morning when I wake up. He is the last thing on my mind before I go to bed. I pray and I sometimes try to do what is right. I even think about Him when I screw up and it is Him that I'm worried about.
So what am I sorting out? I think that I'm sorting out desire rather than motivation. God is motivating an inner struggle that is really about desire. Can my desire for God outweigh my fear of failure? I believed in who I was before God and I thought too much. I compensated for that but do I now think too little of myself. . . so much so that I sacrifice my spiritual potential out of fear?
If all that I'm facing is fear, then I know the path that I must choose. I don't think that it looks too much different then the one that I'm on right now. . . which corrects for a mistake that I made a few years ago. The big difference comes down the road on those days that I choose who I'll serve. Those are the days that will make the difference.